For me, it’s nails on anything. Also, fake smiles, ugly shoes, and a unique high-pitch scream that only Soleil can reach. It is –to quote the drama teacher in High School Musical– “a note that cannot be accessed in the natural world.”
And most recently, sweaty guys at the gym. Last week, Coco and I were on our way to the locker room at the gym when the group class caught our attention. We stopped to watch the new belly dancing class that was going on in the glass-enclosed room.
“This looks fun,” I told Coco and she nodded. “But, I’m not doing it with my 12 year old daughter.” I added.
“Why not?” She said.
“Because, you don’t need to learn to belly dance until you’re married.” She gave me a quizzical look for a second, then she wrinkled up her nose and gave me her you’re gross, mom look. I laughed and we went to the locker room to get ready, dancers forgotten.
Later, I sat to do some leg lifts and was again facing the belly dancing class. Now the women seemed to be doing freestyle. Without restraint they danced around the room, arms in air, bellies shaking away. Some were laughing, some biting their lip in focus, some had their eyes closed in their own sultry world.
I giggled to myself when I saw that every man who passed the class had his head nearly snap off. A few bold women had their voluptuous bellies and more fully exposed. While I somewhat admired the confidence of the women who were freely hanging out, the sweaty, leering guys just grossed me out.
One man on the abs machine in front of me sat with his head in his hands between every set. Perhaps he had a headache, but I like to think he had his own hot wife at home and was resisting the temptation of watching other women dance seductively.
Well, there’s another reason I won’t be taking this class. I wouldn’t want to be tempting strange men with my super-hot body, now would I? <insert chuckle here.>
Come to think of it, it wasn’t the belly dancers or even the ogling men that made me cringe. It was the mental image I got of my own belly shaking away in front of a gym full of people. Big cringe.
What about you? What makes you wince and wrinkle your nose in disgust?
mamala says
First let’s mention the aroma, the sounds, the visuals that your words evoke–I’m there Ducky–and I’m laughing my big ol’ b _ _ _ off! You are hysterical.
Second–what makes me wince and wrinkle my nose in disgust?
Well, strangely–some of the same things that you mentioned. I, too, attend a gym–getting the joy of seeing a particular few of the fellas wrenching sideways to catch a ‘bend-over view’ of some of the more eyecatching feminine displays. And although they, I guess, really just amuse me–the wince-invoker is the old guy who plants himself DIRECTLY BEHIND the lay-on-your-stomach-and-tighten-your-butt machine. I swear, I think he is there for 20 minutes sometimes–and now that I think of it–from that ‘bird’s eye’ he also gets a good eyeful of the ‘open-and-close-your-thigh’ area. What a perve.
Now that my brain is popping and sputtering along, I also hate fake people with fake smiles and fake interest in my realness. I have a couple of those I contend with daily, and although it is a huge waste of time to converse–since nothing is really real, ya kno–I must, as these folks are my supervisors. I pray when I open my yap, and try to control my face–it’s the best I can do right now.
Oh, and lastly, I don’t much like slobbering dogs.
turtlemomma says
Ok this is gonna be two fold and hold on to your desk or something steady so you dont fall over. 😉
Things that make me cringe:
#1) People who dont take care of their kids. For instance, my friends husband takes care of her kid during the day. He’s the same size as Brady. I took them both outside. The little boy was wearing only a short sleeve shirt and a jean jacket while Brady had on a undershirt, long sleeve shirt, t-shirt on top and a coat. Brady had on size 8 shoes, while this kids feet were just as big (i measured) and he had old 6 1/2s and was walking funny in them. They can afford new shoes for this kid, so thats not the problem. I told his dad to go and buy him new shoes after he gets the kids feet measured… And theres also the instances of kids who cant behave whatsoever in public or private places. BAH!!
2) People who swear or say vulgar things or wear vulgar clothing around my children.
3) Little yippy dogs.
Ok now for the second part: (are you holding on tight??)
I LOVE Pole Dancing. Ok so I took classes in a studio with my sis-n-law for 3 months last year. It was so much fun and such a great workout! But, here’s the thing. We could wear what we wanted, girls only, and the doors locked. There were different sizes and shapes of ladies going, too. Michael isnt comfy letting me go anymore. 🙁 But I understand.
My mom took belly dancing. She lost a lot of her prego fat. She looked HOT for my brothers wedding. She was also with a bunch of bigger older women who just wanted to work out and feel a bit better about themselves inside and it wasnt in a public gym either. She also learned that belly dancing was kinda like Hawaiian dancing. It wasnt meant to be sexual in any way, it was meant to express themselves or to tell stories. But, it got Westernized and now people think of Belly dancing as naughty.
So, take it for what its worth, but I bet it would totally boost your self confidence if you took a private class with your sweats fully covering your body. 😉
Joy