I initially wrote about our experience with Passport to Purity back in 2011. This year, I am updating and expanding my original post into a four part series. You can get a nice overview of the retreat here.
Please note that all of these things apply to boys as well. There is a father-son option in the same kit!
I first took this retreat with my oldest daughter in 2010. This time around, I felt a little more prepared for the retreat, but since it had been 5 years since I did the last one, I decided to brush up on things. I actually read my original post so that I could remember what I did beforehand. Today, I’m going to talk a little about preparing for the retreat and some things to think about and decide before going.
Preparing for the Purity Retreat
In this picture, my daughter has just cracked open our savings jar for our trip. I had saved for years for a graduation road trip with my older daughter, and Soleil wanted to do something similar. We saved change and $5 bills for awhile and it gave us money to spend on our fun outings and local food.
There is a little work to do before leaving for your trip, and as with most things, a little bit of preparation goes a long way. You can easily get it done in 2-3 hours.
Pray!
Pray while you’re preparing, while you’re packing, while you’re planning your fun. While you’re at it, recruit a couple of other people to pray for you, too.
Questions to Discuss with Your Spouse Beforehand
The first time I did the retreat, I went through the materials the weekend before we left, and in retrospect, I wished I would have discussed a couple of things with my husband before we left. It might seem obvious, but there were some questions that came up that I hadn’t given enough thought to. Some my daughter and I worked through together, but some we left open-ended because I hadn’t established a for-sure plan with my husband. The second time I went, I had a better idea of where we stood, since our older daughter had already gone through dating and got married, but I still discussed these things with my husband beforehand.
- Will your daughter date or will you follow a courtship model?
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At what age will you allow romantic relationships?
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What physical boundaries do you find appropriate?
Plan Your Fun Activity.
You’ll find more information about this in your guide, including a comprehensive list of ideas. With my oldest daughter, I chose shopping for our activity. Our retreat coincided with Coco’s birthday and she had money to spend on clothes shopping. That might not appeal to some, but it was perfect for us. We definitely bond over shopping. We also hit up Sephora and Coco got a makeover.
With my youngest daughter, we visited Hearst Castle and the Madonna Inn. Our retreat was a little longer, so we had more time for our fun activity. If you’re wondering why most of my photos are from my trip with my younger daughter, it’s because when I took my older daughter in 2010, we didn’t have camera phones. I don’t think we got any photos at all. 🙁
Think About Ones You’ll Leave Behind
When I took Coco on her retreat, Soleil, was 7 and though she understood that her turn would come, I wanted her to feel special, too. So I wrote her a note and told her how I was looking forward to our time away someday and included a couple little goofy inside jokes we have. I also left her some of her favorite candy since I’d bought some junk food for the trip. She still has this note hanging in her room, it meant so much to her.
I also wrote my husband a note, thanking him for providing the money and staying home with our youngest so we could do this.
Shop for Materials
While you’re on your retreat, you’ll be completing a few simple projects. These projects require materials, most of which you may have around the house, like balloons and construction paper. There may be a few things you do have to purchase, though, so make sure you leave time to do so. Nothing is expensive and most of it could even be bought at the dollar store. There’s a convenient list in the book of materials you’ll need. As you can see above, I put the materials for each project into a gift bag. It made Soleil curious about what we were going to do and she was excited to open each one.
I also bought some of our favorite junky snacks for the road and the hotel room.
Consider a Gift
While you’re out shopping, you may want to pick out a special gift. The book talks about the importance of a gift and how it is a visual memory of your time together for a long time afterward. A purity ring is suggested, but it was important to us that my husband be there when we gave our older daughter that, and when I took our youngest, we felt that 12 was too young for a purity ring. I ended up getting each of my girls a mother-daughter necklace. Here is a pretty one. While an added gift wasn’t necessary, it was definitely special and they both still wear their necklaces. There is a list of more gift ideas in the book.
Invite Your Daughter
We gave our girls the retreat as part of their birthday gifts. Each time, I made an invitation and wrapped it up, along with the passport to add to the excitement. If time permits, be sure to invite your child to the retreat. It just makes it so much more special! You don’t have to be craft and make your own if you don’t have time. Buying one works just as well.
Choose Your Destination
When I did the purity retreat with my oldest, we didn’t have much money, so we stayed one night in a local hotel. The second time, I had more time to plan, so my daughter and I went to the lovely town of Solvang, CA. We found an inexpensive hotel that offered a third night free if you stayed two nights, so we went for three nights. It gave us plenty of time to spread the sessions out and do lots of exploring and talking and bonding.
The year we went had been a busy couple of years, mostly revolving around my older daughter, between her graduating high school the year before, then getting engaged and married that year, so it was really nice to get some time to just focus on Soleil for a few days. The retreat can be done in one overnight trip, so don’t think you have to be able to get away for four days like we did!
You can even do the retreat at home, in weekly Bible study sessions if you just can’t get away.
Write in your daughter’s book
There is a place for you and your husband to write letters to your daughter in her book. Do not skip this part, your daughter will treasure it for years to come.
Next up, getting the most out of your retreat.
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Karen C. says
I’m preparing for our own mother-and-daughter purity retreat and I find your post helpful – thanks so much! I’m wondering if you could share some photos of the invites you made for your daughters. It help give me an idea on how to make it more exciting for my daughter. Would appreciate it, thanks so much in advance!
Angela says
Hi Karen, I am so sorry, but we have moved since I posted this and I have no idea where my daughters’ invitations are!